Excuse-o-Matic

Excuse-o-Matic builds excuses for being late, missing a deadline, or skipping the gym. The excuses are specific on purpose. A slip might name the minute, the errand, the animal, the witness, and the paperwork. Press Another one to draw a new combination from the phrase tables. Press Make it worse to keep that story and add another clause, a sterner stamp, and a higher absurdity level. Press Copy to put the current slip on your clipboard.

You can use it from a keyboard. A draws another excuse. M makes the current one worse. C copies it. On a small screen the three buttons sit under the slip and are large enough to tap. The absurdity meter shows how far the current note has climbed. It tops out, because even this machine has a limit, and then you start a fresh alibi.

Nothing is uploaded. The latest slip is stored only in this browser. There is no account, no ad, and no suggestion that your manager must accept a note about a unionized goose. If the slip mentions a stapler with a pension, that is the joke, and also a sign you should rewrite it in your own words before you hit send.

The pad is a toy. It will not call anyone, book a calendar, or file the form it invents. Read the result, laugh, and then leave on time if you can. The machine, notably, will not be coming with you.